Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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