hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
