i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
