my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
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