I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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