what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
