so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
