Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize