So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
