Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
