awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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