omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
