i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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