i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
