He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
