I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
