If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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