so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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