You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you would pick up someone in the library
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
