God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
