i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
