he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
