He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
