you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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