I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
