How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
...so i touched it.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
