epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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