How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
