mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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