just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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