So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
