dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i out mim tonsoeep
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
