That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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