you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
