At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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