lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
