Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
