she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I have post one night stand depression
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