hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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