went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
