yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
