I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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