happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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