when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
