You just made me feel so damn special
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
