2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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