They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
