well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
