Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
