Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
