And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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