Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
She said her name was "party"
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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