I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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