i would punch a child for taco bell
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
