that's an acceptable place to lick
they need to just BURY HIM!
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
