my mouth tastes like poor choices
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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