Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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