Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize