woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
