I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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