is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize