plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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