I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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