College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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