i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
