Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
