New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
