This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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