My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
