I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize