i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
