Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize