Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize